HELEN's STORY - LUCKY OR UNLUCKY?

I've been asking for your stories of chance events and how tiny unpredicted decisions have affected your lives. You've sent me loads of great ones and some are already on the blog. I have one for you here, sent by Helen Hunt, which is very chilling. It's also incredibly similar to something that happened to me last year.

Helen's story:

It was a Friday afternoon, a few years ago now. I was at work and knew I had a long journey down the motorway to get home.  It was winter, so it was dark and it was also pouring with rain.

As anyone who has read ‘Wasted’ will know, the exact time you set off on a journey can have huge repercussions on the outcome of that journey.  So when a colleague came to discuss a work-related problem with me, things could have gone in one of two ways.

I could have said, ‘You know what, it’s Friday, it’s late and I’ve got a long journey home.  Let’s discuss this on Monday morning.’

But it was quite a serious problem.  So I didn’t say that.  I decided to stay and discuss the problem and decide a course of action.  I left the office nearly an hour later than usual and set off down the motorway for home.

I have no idea what sort of day everyone else on the motorway had been having.  Maybe some of them were running late as well.  Maybe that had an effect on what happened next.

My car shouldn’t have been on the exact stretch of motorway a lorry driver decided to pull over on to without looking.  But it was.  I should have been sitting safely at home with a cup of coffee.  But I wasn’t.

As my car bounced off the lorry into the path of a car in the fast lane, then did a 180 degree turn which sent me skidding across three lanes of traffic and finally left me in the fast lane facing the wrong way, I was convinced I was going to die. 

The phrase ‘lucky to be alive’ is an interesting one.  Yes, I was lucky that none of the other vehicles hit me, lucky that the driver of the car coming towards me in the fast lane was able to stop and lucky that I walked away without a scratch.  But surely more ‘lucky’ would have been not being there at all?

At any point from when the lorry hit me, to when my car ran out of steam and stopped of its own accord, something could have happened which would have resulted in me being killed.  For many weeks afterwards, I felt like I was living in one of two parallel universes. As I walked around my house I couldn’t shake the feeling that I shouldn’t really be there because in that other universe, that alternative reality, I was dead.

I so know how Helen felt. It took me quite a while to get over what happened to me. In my case, our car was hit by a lorry and ended up at the very tiny end of the tapering bit between two motorways, with cars whizzing past on both sides. I thought one must surely hit us, and that we wouldn't survive.

But Helen's point about whether we call it lucky or unlucky is very interesting, and one of the things that crops up in Wasted. Jack thinks that Jess was lucky not to have been seriously damaged when her drink was spiked but what he doesn't know (but we do) is how in fact she was very unlucky that the drink was spiked in the first place.

We don't know half the things that nearly happen to us. If we'd gone down that street instead of the one we did, something bad might have happened. We'll never know.

One thing's for sure: when something like Helen's story happens to us, it does make us think, for a while, about just how lucky we are. But I think we need to keep a lid on those thoughts and don't let them have too much air or too often: other than that we just need to get on and enjoy our lives, grabbing every opportunity, believing in free will and throw ourselves at life with enthusiasm. This is not a rehearsal.

WASTED BLOG TOUR - WHERE AM I TODAY? I'm delighted to be over at the blog of Catherine Hughes, though I can't remember what I said. Catherine is an example of luck for me: I haven't met her in real life, though I'm going to very soon, but I "met" her through blogging, from ther very early days of my Help! I Need a Publisher! blog. Catherine is now my assistant, and very amazing she is too. I count myself very lucky to have found her. Anyway, she has two blogs, that one about her life and thoughts as a writer and another one about her daily fight against what life throws at her. Go follow both!

ALSO, THERE'S A GREAT COMP TO WIN A COPY over at Sammee's I Want To Read That blog. Sammee works in a bookshop and she loves YA books especially - do head over there and try your luck at winning a copy.

SMILE AND THE WORLD SMILES WITH YOU

Recently, I talked about Richard Wiseman and his book The Luck Factor. Well, Richard has written other books on psychology and how to get the most out of life. One of them, a fascinating one, is called 59 Seconds: Think a little, change a lot.

He gives quick and very simple ways of drawing success towards us and he explains the psychology behind each. And if we think that success is at least partly about luck, then he shows that we make our own success and luck. Which is what Jack thinks in Wasted, though for different reasons.

I want to tell you one of the fascinating bits in 59 Seconds. It suggests that if you smile, the world smiles with you. In other words, people are more likely to help you, like you and respond well to you if you smile. Actually, that's not what Wiseman says - he says put a picture of a cute, smiley baby in your wallet if you want your wallet returned to you when it's lost!

Let me explain about the baby and the wallet.

Wiseman wanted to discover the best way to ensure that a lost wallet was returned. What would be the best thing to put inside it? He bought 240 wallets and "filled them with the same set of everyday items, including raffle tickets, discount vouchers and fake membership cards."

He also added one of four photos to some wallets. Forty wallets got a photo of a smiling baby, forty got a puppy, forty a happy family and forty a contented elderly couple. Forty more wallets got a card saying the owener had contributed to charity. And forty got no extra item. All the wallets were then randomly dropped in public places around Edinburgh .

A week later, 52 wallets had been returned. And these were the results:

• no extra item - 6%
• charity card - 8%
• elderly couple photo - 11%
• puppy - 19%
• happy family - 21%
• smiling baby - 35%

So, smile like a baby and people will help you?? Well, OK, not quite as simple as that. But it does suggest something about luck, because surely having your wallet returned when you've dropped it is a matter of luck? That's what you'd say, isn't it? "Yay, I was lucky to have my purse returned."

The thing is that we think of luck as being something we can't affect. But luck is often about whether other people choose to help us and what we do can make a difference to how people treat us. Being endearing, smiling and unthreatening, could make people more likely to be on your side.

Obviously, I'm not suggesting you go round sucking your thumb or making cooing baby noises, but we can still think about ways to make our faces soft, open, friendly, and happy, when we want to influence people in our direction.

My problem is with photos - I CANNOT smile nicely in photos.

Meanwhile, I recommend 59 Seconds to you and suggest you follow Richard on Twitter - he is @RichardWiseman  Oh, and tell him I sent you.  

THE WASTED BLOG TOUR - WHERE AM I TODAY?  Over with Claire Marriot at The View From My Garret. Join us there. She did a fab review of Wasted, too.

In real life, I'm at George Watson's College doing a school event for some S1 pupils (Year 8 if you're English). I will report!!

THE LUCK FACTOR

Do you think luck is something you can't control, something that just happens to us?

Apparently not. We affect our own luck, and a great way to understand how is to read psychologist Richard Wiseman's work. His book, The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind, "reveals the four scientific principles of luck - and how you can use them to change your life."

Wiseman conducted research into people who considered themselves very lucky and those who believed they were very unlucky. He wanted to see if it was just luck or if there was something different about their behaviour, anything that could be causing their good or bad luck. Because if we knew what was causing it, perhaps we could change it?

He shows that lucky people share four principles:

1. they maximize chance opportunities
2. they listen to "gut feelings" 
3. they expect good fortune 
4. they see the bright side of bad luck

And Wiseman isn't the only person who can tell you about luck being in your control. Here's an article referring toThe Book of Luck, by Heather Summers and Anne Watson.

I told you about John Woods, surely one of the luckiest men alive. If Jack, my character in Wasted, had known about John Woods, he'd probably have been obsessed by him. Well, fine, but I can't see that John Woods did anything apart from be lucky. He didn't make choices which in advance he could say were sensible, could he? Just really lucky.

But there are other aspects of our lives where there are clearly things we should do to attract luck. For example, in jobs, careers, relationships, the experiences of meeting people, if you put yourself in the right situations and go into them positively, you give yourself more chances to be lucky. Whereas if you sit at home, too scared or lazy to do anything, you will miss possible encounters or events that could change your life for the better.

So, Richard Wiseman did a number of experiments to discover why some people may affect their luck - for good or bad. And I thought I'd tell you about one of them, which he relates in The Luck Factor.

He found two people, Martin and Brenda. Martin seemed exceptionally lucky and Brenda exceptionally unlucky. Martin talked about all the good things that happened to him and Brenda seemed to talk only about the unlucky things that happened to her. So, Wiseman set up an experiment, without telling either of them what was going on - they just thought they were going to be interviewed about luck.

A TV crew rigged up hidden cameras outside a coffee shop and Martin and Brenda were asked to go there at two specific times and wait in the coffee shop till someone from the "Luck Project" came to meet them. In the coffee shop were four tables, each with a person sitting there who was secretly involved in the experiment. One was a successful businessman and the others were not. All had to behave the same way.

A £5 note was left on the pavement outside.

When Martin arrived, he saw the £5 note and picked it up. He sat next to the businessman, bought him a coffee and introduced himself. Soon they were chatting.

Later, after Martin had gone, another £5 note was placed outside and they waited for Brenda. 

Brenda didn't see the £5 note. In the coffee shop, she did sit next to the businessman, but she didn't say anything.

Later, Wiseman interviewed them about any lucky or unlucky things that had happened that day. Brenda said nothing had happened; Martin talked about the £5 note and the chat with the businessman.

The point, as Wiseman says, is that these two people had exactly the same opportunities for luck that day, but they each behaved differently and so experienced different things.

So, keep your eyes open for £5 notes on the pavement and do take opportunities that arise! You never know what might happen. Martin's life didn't change (or not obviously) after his chat with the businessman, but it might have done. What if he'd been looking for a job? What if the man had been impressd by him and liked him?

Yes, bad and good things happen to us. But we can and do make our own luck.

Good luck!! Or, I should say: grasp those chances that come along, keep your eyes open, be positive and don't let £5 notes pass you by!

BLOG TOUR: WHERE AM I TODAY?  I'm over at the Bookette, with a Home and Away feature. You get to peer inside my home, if you want to. It's a bit messy but I did a bit of tidying before the Bookette came...

LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE??

Yesterday I told you about Tommy Allsup. But there's another man alive today who has been so lucky that it's hard to believe. There's a part of me thinks this simply can't be true, but it seems to be, so I'm going to tell you.

He's called John Woods.

(Actually, after the post yesterday, several of you came up with some others stories of amazingly lucky people. Check out Franko Selek and Maryanne Bruce. No one guessed the correct answer so I get to keep the prize - hehe! On the other hand, lucky blog-follower Vanessa O'Loughlin won yesterday's free draw, so she will receive a signed copy very soon. Well done, Vanessa! Everyone else - next draw Sat May 1st.)

Back to John Woods. In 1988, he was booked on the Pan-Am flight which exploded over Lockerbie, killing everyone on board. But he cancelled at the last minute because someone had persuaded him to go to a party in his office.

In 1993, he was on the 39th floor of the World Trade Centre when it was bombed, but he survived, uninjured.

On September 11th, 2001, he left his office in one of the Twin Towers. Seconds later, one of the two planes involved hit the building in the appalling tragedy which shook America and changed the world. John Woods was safe again.

I wonder how many days go by when he doesn't say to himself, "What if?" But you could go crazy thinking like that - so I hope he locks it away in a small place in his mind and focuses on the fact that he simply is a very, very lucky man.

What has this to do with Wasted? Well, one of the two main characters, Jack, is obsessed by stories like this. Jack has lost two mothers. The first one died giving birth to him - a blood clot, terribly bad luck, quite unpredicted and very rare. The second time was rather horrible, and Jack was there too, aged five - he'd just come home from his first day at school and an incredibly unlucky accident in the kitchen, "caused" by Jack, killed her. I'd rather not tell you about it here - it really is rather shocking...

Anyway, although he moves forward and grows up strong and seemingly undamaged, he does have this obsession about luck, good and bad. He covers his wall with stories of people who have horribly bad luck because they happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like Aeschylus, who is supposed to have died when a tortoise fell on his head! Jack believes that if he throws himself at the mercy of luck, by letting a coin rule his actions, luck will look out for him.

John Woods made a decision which saved him from being on the Pan-Am flight and another that saved him from dying in the Twin Towers. He didn't know he was making an important decision, but it was a decision all the same.

Jack thinks if he makes the right decisions, he will be lucky. But how will he know what the right decisions are? He thinks he knows. He thinks that the only important decision is to spin the coin and follow the answer. But he's going to discover that he's wrong...

I'll be asking for YOUR stories of lucky escapes or chance events on May 4th. So, get thinking. I'm going to collect them all and I might tell them when I do school events and other talks. I want examples of how a tiny chance event affected your life - lucky escapes or unlucky actions, being in the wrong or right place at the right time, how your parents met etc, anything where you believe important results came from a tiny chance happening or decision. Don't tell me now - wait till I post the piece on May 4th. (For soome examples, see the page at the top of this blog, titled Your Chance Events.

Thing is, sometimes we have lucky escapes and don't even know - like Lorenzo in Wasted. Whether he dies in a car crash or not depends on whether he's driving a red car or not, which affects whether a pigeon crashes through a window when he's drinking coffee ... Sounds unlikely? Well, the pigeon scene actually happened to me. I'll tell you about it on Thursday. 

See you tomorrow, when I will have a writing competition for you - a chance for adult writers and school-age writers. If you're at school, tell your English teacher today - this is going to be a great chance for you to demonstrate your creativity and have a chance to be published here.

Meanwhile, comment below! And may you have a very lucky life.